Pros and Cons of steroids

Bodybuilding is a worldwide activity, a huge controversy in lifting is whether or not steroids should be used. I will be writing about the pros and cons of the use of steroids. It’s decision time, you’ve been lifting for a while now and you’ve hit a plateau. You begin to notice that some lifters are starting to supplement their income and get even bigger. The guys that you though were natty the whole time, turns out they have been juicing since Capri-Sun. Your reality has shifted and you’re now at a crossroads. To the left you have 20 miles to a weekend in Vegas with your lifesaving in your pocket, you’re gonna hit highs there that you’ve never hit anywhere else. And to the right you have the unpaved dirt road, across the country to the house with a family and a sustainable life. When you think about it whats really more important here?…. Yeah I thought so.

 If you are still having doubts I’m now gonna break down the pros and cons of taking steroids. The pros. No one ever really wants to talk about the pros of taking steroids, lucky for everybody, I’m not no one, so here we go. Up first is MAD GAINZ. This is a no brainer, this is what you’re here for right? This is like grabbing your playstation controller and hitting triangle-up-down-square-L1-R2-circle then BOOM, unlimited guns, unlimited ammo. I mean you still gotta play the game but once you enter the cheat code you’re never gonna play again without it. Number two, strength. Its not about how much you can lift but about how much you look like you can lift…. but it also helps if you can lift a lot too. Gainz and strength are a one-two punch, if gainz is Jordan, then strength is Pippen. I mean Jordan probably could have done it all by himself but ya know Pippen did his part too. I’ll tell ya one thing though, I never had a poster of Scottie Pippen in my room. Number 3, cuts and veins. You will finally be able to achieve that “my skin looks like a leaf” look. There will be zero doubt that you lift. Your muscles are so dense they look like a tight bag of rocks. Its like when you look at a pyramid, you know exactly what it is, its a pyramid, its shaped like a pyramid, it invented the word pyramid, there is nothing else too it and no other way to describe it. Number 4, fast recovery. Its like you’re racing NASCAR and you never need to make a pit stop, yeah you’re going to win.

  Alright well we got a pretty epic list for pros, time to move on to cons, or as I like to call them, hater points. So the first con of taking steroids is that it messes with your natural testosterone levels. When you’re on juice you’re golden, you have higher test levels than head male of a pride of lions, but when you get off you’re in gym class, there’s no test here. Over night you go from he-man to she-man. Its just like you being at a table in Vegas where you’re always up but you can’t leave with your winnings, you just have to keep on playing. Number two on the cons list is emotional instability.  On the outside you look rock solid but on the inside you look like Michael J Fox on a trampoline playing Jenga against an actual time bomb. For example the other day I saw my bro jump out of his car at an intersection and threaten a stop light with a knife because his favorite color is blue. And later that day I walk in on him sitting alone in the dark bawling his eyes out to the beginning of the Titanic, not a good look bro. Number three on the list is that you think you’re better than everybody. When you started juicing its like you downloaded the expansion pack. If you don’t juice you’re not even in the game. You literally cannot play on that level. You know what? Actually I’m going to move that point over to the pro side. Retake of number three on the list is that juicing is extremely expensive. So maybe you have no problem investing 5, 10, 15…. 20…….. 25 years off your life for some mad gainz right now but now you also have to dip into your 401k to fund this meat market?

  You already invest all your money into supplements, food, supplements, the gym, and supplements so its something you really have to think about. Spot number four is going to needles. Juicing isn’t like pounding down some preworkout or a protein shake, you literally have to stab yourself and inject chemicals into your blood. But hey it could be worse, you could be small. Number 5 is having to explain to your doctor for the 20th time that its cool. He spent 12 years studying the body, you spent 12 months building it. I don’t need to listen to his dumb science for regular people because I’m an animal and last I checked hes not a vet and the only science I need is broscience, which I’m an honorary brofessor of. So beat it Doc. Lastly here are some facts about steroid use that i found on http://nml.gov  which stands for the national library of medicine, acne, breast growth and shrinking of testicles in men, voice deepening and growth of facial hair in women, high blood pressure, heart problems, including heart attack, enlarged organs, liver disease, including cancer, kidney damage, and aggressive behavior. As you can see its a pretty close race and as you can see there is no clear winner in the pros and cons of taking steroids.