crossfit

Today's subject will Crossfit.  Some of you may have heard about it, personally I don't believe in anything that doesn't involve bench press or curls.  A quick Google search when I type "why is crossfit" the first recommendations are "why is crossfit bad for you", "why is crossfit bad for athletes", "why is crossfit bad for bodybuilding", and "why is crossfit dangerous".  Before one of the hippy, incorrect form teachers, and vegans talk you into crossfit let me metaphorically punch them in the face with Bro Science.
To start off, crossfit is a class..... I should just leave it there.  It like riding a train or a bus, everybody is going to the same place and you're not driving.  Crossfit is solely based around light weight Olympic exercises to infinity.  I truly do respect almost all types of fitness but crossfit should be a felony.  There are some crossfit people that are ripped up and jacked but they're on ESPN (Saturday afternoon on ESPN 18) flipping tractor tires, they're the .1%.  That's like joining a church intramural basketball league and hoping to get drafted in the NBA.  Not gonna happen.
The only thing great about crossfit is that you don't have to worry about exercising for a goal because exercise is the goal.  If you're looking to build a physique of greatness, crossfit isn't for you.  Maybe you should try doing some bench or curls or the correct form of a pull up for once.  Its the difference between building a house and being really good at putting nails in a board.
Crossfit is ideal for building cardiovascular endurance, or what i like to call the ability to lose gains.  Crossfit is good for intense athletic training for the professional non-athlete.  Crossfit is good for sports like..... water cooler polo, desk jockey, running your mouth about how awesome crossfit is, and another thing which i probably shouldn't say because it may offend some people then crossfit is for you.  You may ask what sport I do, its called walking around like a beast, live large, die large, leave a giant coffin.
Crossfit is a lifestyle, it starts in a place they call a gym (even though its not because there is no bench press), and ends on your Facebook profile.  With crossfit, now everybody can be elite, its a lot like getting a participation award and being proud of it.
Crossfit places a huge emphasis on form and how you don't need it.  Crossfit takes complicated movements and gets rid of all the useless stuff like effectiveness and safety and replaces it with cool stuff like violence and danger.  Crossfit has revolutionized the fitness industry by teaching people the correct way to do do an incorrect pull up.  My main point here is the keeping pull up (this is an example of a keeping pull up: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAZaHzd6qAY) (this is an example of a correct pull up: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VB7L7XcDArs)  After all these facts, if you are currently doing crossfit I do hope with all my heart that you stop and if you have never done it before i sincerely hope that this has dissuaded you from ever trying it.